Magic of Mischief
by dem bones
Summary: To promote unity amongst the four houses, Professor McGonagall proposes everyone play a game of Dirty Santa. Contains SLASH, Femslash, het and crossgen.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Magic of Mischief

Author: dem bones

Genres: Romance/Hurt/Comfort

Summary: To promote unity amongst the four houses, Professor McGonagall proposes everyone play a game of Dirty Santa. Contains M/M, F/F, M/F and Crossgen.

Warnings: SLASH, FEMMESLASH, HET, Crossgen, Infidelity.

A.N: Written for Dirty Santa Competition by Taragh McCarthy.

Words: 3,389, so what if it's only 389 words over...I had fun! :D

Disclaimer: I don't own HP.

First Shot: Dirty Tricks

"Hey, guess what someone gave me for Christmas?" Seamus popped in a week after the holidays.

"What?" Colin asked.

Seamus took out the rolled up poster behind his back and unrolled it.

"Is that an autographed Chudley Cannons Poster?" Ron asked.

"So who do you think sent you the poster?" Neville asked curiously.

"I don't know." He said dejectively. "I think it was Ginny though."

"Why do you say that?" Harry asked jealously.

"Ginny is the only one who knows I love the Chudley Cannons."

"You mean Dean doesn't know."

"Dean likes football. He was never into Quidditch so I never told him."

Just then, someone barged into the common room.

"Hey, look at this."

"What the hell!" Harry exclaimed as Cormac McClaggen drew closer to show Harry bits of his face that appeared burnt.

"What happened to you?"

"Hermione Granger happened to me. I bet you, she's the one that sent me those cards."

"Cards?"

Granger. She sent me this deck of Exploding Snape cards. They literally explode."

Seamus, Ron, Neville and Harry couldn't contain their laughter.

"THIS isn't FUNNY." Cormac choked out. "What will the ladies say?"

HP

Later during lunch time: Harry, Ron and Hermione had began to discuss which names they had picked in the sorting hat.

Harry had been nibbling on a cat-shaped piece of candy like it disgusted him.

Hermione heard Harry talk about receiving a furry white cat for Christmas.

"How am I going to take care of it?" He moaned in frustration.

"Say Hermione, the gift you gave McClaggen was blood hilarious. You should do that more often."

"Ron, I didn't give a gift to McClaggen."

"Who do you think gave it to him?"

"I'm not sure, I have a couple of guesses but they might not even be correct."

Hermione quickly got to her feet, she appeared to be hiding something under her arms.

"Hermione, what's that?" Ron asked.

She turned and flushed conceiling it further in her robes.

"What's got Hermione so flustered?"

HP

Later that evening, Professor McGonagall gathered the students in the Great Hall.

"As you may know a week before the holiday, you all drew a name from the sorting hat in order to buy this someone a gift for Christmas. Each of you will now guess who bought you your gift.

As this list went down. Seamus Finnagan was called to the front.

"I'm going to guess Ginny Weasley."

"Next, please sit down Mr Finnagan. HARRY POTTER!"

Harry was called to the front.

"I'm going to guess Draco Malfoy." he said giving Draco a malicious glare.

Professor McGonagall told him to sit down.

"Hermione Granger."

"Uh-I." Hermione stuttered, blushing. "Luna Lovegood?"

"Did you like my gift?" Luna asked from nearby.

Hermione turned and shrieked at the other girl's close proximity.

"Luna, aren't you supposed to sit with the ravenclaws."

"Oh, I sorry I didn't know exactly what to give you..."

"I liked your present someday I will have to repay you. How did you know I love Shakespeare?"

"Sit down, Miss Granger and Miss Lovegood. Cormac McClaggen."

"Hermione Granger." Cormac growled maliciously.

"Those of you who haven't revealed themselves as giver of the gifts must do so before tomorrow." McGonagall said.

HP

After dinner, Harry met up with Ginny in the front of the school.

"Harry, I can't handle this right now. I have a lot on my mind and I want to experience things and I want to see if I can remain committed to you because right now I'm not so sure."

"Ginny, are you breaking up with me?"

"It's inevitable whether we like it or not."

Harry nodded as if he understood but deep down he would never understand.

Seamus appeared behind the bush as Harry left.

"Ginny!" He called out and ran to embrace her.

"Seamus, what are you doing here?"

"Were you the one that sent me my gift?"

"No."

Seamus flinched and stepped back dejectedly.

"What's the matter, Seamus? It's not like you to back away." Ginny said.

Seamus looked down blushing. "I-I love you. Do you want to go out with me?"

Ginny sighed. "Alright, but you will have to prove your worth. Harry has claim on me you know."

"He broke up with you?"

"I broke up with him. With the war going on, I couldn't afford not to."

HP

At around the same time, Cormac had barged in to the common room as Hermione was writing a letter and swiped it from her.

"What are you writing?"

"McClaggen, give that back."

"Did you send me the deck of Exploding Snap cards."

"No, I didn't." Hermione huffed.

"Who's the letter from?" Ron asked swiping the letter from Cormac.

"Ron...you two just can't barge into personal space."

"You're writing to Viktor again?"

"No..." Hermione flushed.

At the middle of their arguing, Ginny popped in beside Seamus.

"What's going on here? I could here you arguing all the way outside. Will somebody please tell me what is going on?"

"I'm certain Granger sent me that deck of cards."

"McClaggen barged in here trying to make up a lie about me sending him a deck of cards. He said only I would be angry enough to send him a deck of cards. "

"Then she said that it wasn't true. Ginny, did you know that she was writing Viktor?"

"She said. He said. Who cares who said it? I just want to know if it's true. Is it true Hermione did you send Cormac the deck of cards?"

"No, I didn't. Well, you see now we've got to the bottom of this. Now Ron, who gave you that chocolate santa that you received on Christmas Eve."

Ron flushed. "It was Professor Snape."

"Really?"

"Just kidding, Harry got Professor Snape. Man, you should have seen the look on your face. Only Harry has that kind of luck...I got Professor McGonagall."

"Hermione, can I talk to you later?" Ginny asked and Hermione nodded.

Ron and Hermione left leaving Ginny alone in the room with McClaggen.

"Do you really want to know who sent you the deck of exploding snap?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah."

"It was me." Ginny said, a grin on her face.

"Why? How?"

"Oh, it's just fun teasing you giving you a hard time." Ginny said slinking a hand up his chest before uttering darkly. "As I still haven't forgiven for being such a jerk with Hermione."

"How d-"

"Dean saw me sneak into the boy's common room I slipped the deck in your bag and you didn't even know it was from me. My brothers helped me make it glad to see you here in one piece."

Cormac gritted his teeth.

HP

In the middle of the night exactly ten minutes before hour before curfew, there was a knock on the portrait. Seamus had been sleeping in the common room waiting for the giver of his present to reveal their presence.

Professor McGonagall had told him that most of the givers would be in different houses and that she would let them in to talk with him if they were from another house...since Seamus had yet to receive his gift. He just stood there waiting.

Immediately when someone knocked on the portrait though, Seamus had got to his feet and opened the portrait.

He was started at the girl with short black hair and a pug nosed face.

"Aren't you Pansy Parkinson?"

"Let's get this over with. I don't have all night."

Seamus lead the girl inside.

"You gave me the Chudley Channon's poster? But why?"

"I heard you talking with Weasley in the library. You seem a tad smitten for her."

"Well, she's cute." Seamus said. "How did you manage to get all the autographs of the Chudley Cannon's?"

"I asked, Lovey to ask the Cannons to give me an autograph. He complied of course because I'm that beautiful."

"Draco?"

"Yeah." She nodded. Seamus noticed her eyes were pensive.

"You don't have to leave."

"Yes, I do."

HP

The next day, Ron and Hermione were arguing over the letter leaving Harry as a third wall.

"Why were you writing to Krum, yesterday?" Ron asked in a rage.

"If you must know, Draco wanted me to keep in touch with him so I complied."

The sentence made Ron speechless.

"You'd listen to that git?" Ron asked and Harry smacked his head with his friend's sheer stupidity.

"No, bloody idiot. Draco loves guys." Harry mumbled angrily to his friend. "Isn't that right, Hermione? Draco wanted you to woo Krum for him."

"Yes, exactly." Hermione explained. "It's lucky he feels the same way."

The Golden trio smiled as if it were their little secret.


	2. Chapter 2

Second Shot: Spoiled Little Angels

About 24 years later after Hermione had divorced Ron after having an affair with Dean, Harry's daughter Lily had began her third year. It was around Christmas time once more.

Neville Longbottom had this idea to unite the houses in a traditional game of Dirty Santa.

A week before the holidays, everyone had drawn out names from the new sorting hat.

Lily had been visiting her Aunt Hermione over the holiday while her daughter was staying with her cousin at Malfoy Manor.

Occasionally she would see her father drop by and they would start having discussions about Salazar Slytherin.

She knew they were talking about Salazar Slytherin because it was consistent with what the new History of Magic teacher had been talking about.

One evening though she had found a gift wrapped up at the bottom of the Christmas Tree that Hermione had set up in the middle of the room.

"Someone dropped by earlier to leave that for you." Hermione said before smiling. "Unwrap it."

Lily did just that.

Inside was a pair of Minx Slippers.

"So cute! Who could have got them for me?"

"That's for you to guess Lily."

HP

A couple of years after Draco Malfoy managed to nullify the marriage contract his father had made specifically for him, he joined the auror academy.

While there Seamus had the displeasure of the man being his partner. The blonde haired man would moan about his wife trying to gain custody of his son, discuss plans for revenge but never seek them out.

"I'm sick of this. If you want revenge then I know just the people you need to speak too." Seamus cried in anger.

"No, I am not asking the Weasleys for help. I'll never live it down."

"Fine, but so you know, they're better at this than you are."

He had dated both girls and guys alike. Never once had he been completely happy in encircling his lover between his arms.

Most had been one-night stands, he had only fallen in love once before. Ginny had told him it hadn't been enough. He was watching a quidditch game and she assumed that he thought she was no longer important.

He still missed her but now he wanted to move on.

"Hey, did you send me a red cloak?"

"Why would I do that, Malfoy?"

"It was just a question." Draco said softly.

HP

She slipped into her minx slippers and walked downstairs for breakfast.

"Hey Lily, I fixed your favorite." Hermione said.

Lily nibbled on toast and scrambled eggs.

Just then there was a disturbance from the floo.

"Neville, what are you doing here?" Hermione asked.

"You looked like you needed the company. Desperate for a husband."

"Or a wife." Lily coughed conceiling her laughter.

Hermione scowled at her.

"Professor, what are you doing here?" Lily asked and turned showing off her minx slippers.

Neville simply smiled.

"Have you received your present yet?" He asked.

"Yeah, someone sent me these nice minx slippers. They look so cute." Lily marveled.

"I'm glad." He said.

HP

After the winter holiday, all the students had returned to Hogwarts. Scorpius, Rose, Albus and Lily had dropped by Hogsmeade upon getting back.

"Professor Longbottom expects to see us tonight." Rose said.

"Don't worry, we'll make it back." Scorpius reassured her.

As they passed by the three broomsticks, Lily could hear Professor Longbottom talking with the lady over the bar table.

"I'm tired of fighting, of talking, of thinking. I'm tired of everything."

"Neville, what's got you so melancholy?"

"It's Lily. I just can't stop thinking about her. I know she's my student but I think I've fallen in love with her and I can't continue fighting it."

Lily blushed completely stunned. Albus scooped his sister from behind and pressed her forward.

"What's the matter, Lily?" Rose asked.

"How can you act so indifferent?" Lily inquired indignantly through her angry tears.

"He's a professor. A relationship is impossible between you two."

"I don't care."

"Lily, you shouldn't be so selfish. He could get fired if he were to have a relationship with you."

"It's my life, I have the right to decide what I want."

Suddenly it happened when the four were wrapped up in their conversation. Cool creepy hands ensnared Lily and dragged her into the alley.

HP

At some point, Seamus and Draco had been talking with Harry who was now the top man directing all of the aurors when an owl had dropped by.

Quickly unfurling the parchment, Harry scanned it's contents.

"There's trouble in Hogsmeade."

Immediately Seamus and Draco apparated to Hogsmeade.

The streets were quiet and encroached in darkness.

Creeping slowly down the streets both scanned the alleyways.

Then suddenly Draco let out a piercing scream, Seamus turned and he was gone.

Walking by he discovered something sticking out from the rubbish bins nearby.

Seamus drew closer and was surprised to find a woman, blood dripping down her face.

He stroked her neck feeling for a pulse. Weak hands grabbed him.

"W-Who?" She asked quietly in a sultry tone.

"Seamus Finnagan."

"S-Sea-mus?" She inquired with confusion.

Seamus scrutinised her a bit. The pug like features were very familiar.

"Pansy?" He grabbed her roughly. "What are you doing here? What's going on?"

Seamus caught sight of her torn clothing.

"It was a couple of thugs, they wanted information on how to get to Hogsmeade. I work at the Wolf's tail Pub in Knockturn Alley. I wanted a quick shag and they wanted information."

Seamus embraced her. "You shouldn't throw yourself away for people like that." He said smelling her hair which was a fresh rosey smell.

HP

At about the same time when Draco had been captured. He found himself overshadowed by a tall brawny figure.

"I-I haven't recieved any more letters."

"W-Who?" Draco whispered. The man's hands were freezing.

"Veektor. Veektor Krum." He said this while licking down his jaw.

Draco shivered under the wet caress.

"Did you like my gift?"

"You sent me the red cloak?"

"You didn't send me anymore letters? And I like to send you Christmas gifts."

"Oh." Draco gasped as Viktor caressed him beneath his leather trousers.

"Vere do you live?"

"I live at Malfoy Manor, but..."

Viktor silenced him with a kiss and the two apparated in one another's arms.

The kissing dragged on until the clothes began to come off and finally Draco pushed Viktor away.

"My ex won't like to see us here?" Draco said.

"She still lives with you?"

"She still owns a part of this house."

"You can't get rid of her?"

"No."

Viktor smiled. "Relax, I have a solution."

Both walked to the room where Draco and his wife use to sleep and closed the door.

A sign was placed on the door knob.

'DO NOT DISTURB."

HP

In the alley, Lily began to struggle futilely against her captors.

"Are you scared?" A man taunted her.

She remembered her father use to tell her to be brave when it came to situations like this. That if she had faith that he would come save her.

Just then a tuff of fair hair covered her vision.

"Lily, are you alright?" A soft voice asked.

Lily's focus however was concerned with the hexes flying wordlessly out of both her herbology professor's and her captor's wands.

She was unaware when Neville had scooped her up in his arms. Nor was she aware when he had apparated him to her father's office with him embracing her.

"Neville, is she alright?"

"Yeah."

Harry smiled. "I'm glad. Thank you for protecting my daughter."

"Daddy, can I go back to school."

"Certainly. I don't see why not."

Neville and Lily apparated and landed outside the school grounds. At that point Lily had fallen asleep in his arms.

Reluctantly he placed Lily on the bed in his room and sat down in his sitting room roaming over his forbidden thoughts.

HP

At around midnight, Hermione heard the doorbell begin to ring.

Hermione got to her feet and opened the door.

Outside stood Luna Lovegood with a black bruise on her right eye.

"What happened to you?"

"Me and Rolf had just got home after traveling to Antarctica and we find this present under the tree. The moment he discovered it was from one of my friends, he went on a rampage. I guess he'd make any excuse he possibly could in order to divorce me."

"Luna, I'm so sorry." Hermione replied.

"Don't be." She said. "I've always loved you even after the longest time."

"Now you are just being silly." Hermione scoffed but Luna held her face tightly between her two cold mitten covered hands.

Hermione flushed a vibrant red before capturing Luna's lips in a warm kiss.

'She tastes like cherries.'

"After we get married, I want to explore the world. Won't you come with me, Hermione?"

"What makes you think I'd want to come with you?"

"You had Harry translate the 'Rare Book of Rare Creatures by Salazar Slytherin.' Lily told me, Harry came by to the every once and a while. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together." Luna commented.

"Well, I did say I'd repay you someday."

"Silly, you already repaid me." Luna replied caressing her bottom.

Hermione smiled capturing her lips once more. "Luna, you are amazing."

HP

The next morning Lily awoke, she exited the room to find Neville sitting in a cozy room by the fire surrounded by plants. He was watering the lilies by the window ceil.

"I'm glad to see you're finally awake."

"Did you give me the minx slippers, Professor?"

"Indeed I did."

"Thank you, Sir."

Neville turned. "You're welcome, Lily."

"Do you want us to get married after I turn sixteen."

Neville blushed.

"There's no need to think too far ahead."

"I'm certain I will learn to love you."

"Oh, alright."

"Hey, I know what will cheer you up. Let's go bother Snape."

Neville shrunk away. "I'd rather not."

"You're not scared are you?"

"No of course not."

"Then let's go." Lily said intertwining their hands.

Together the two headed towards the headmaster's office to greet the portrait of Severus Snape.

HP

Late the previous evening after Harry had got off work. He had returned him eager to greet Ginny.

What he hadn't expected to return to was fresh garments loosely spread across the floor and when he reached his room he had saw Ginny straddling McClaggen kneeling down, whispering seductively in his ear.

The sight had made Harry sick and made him recall the past promises he had made after one fateful evening playing a game of Secret Santa and that was how he had found himself in the Headmaster's office talking to the portrait of Severus Snape.

What went on that morning before Neville and Lily appeared, the two would never know as he had cast a disillusionment charm conceiling the sight of Harry Potter kissing the cheek of his old potions master.

HP

Three years later, Seamus was still dating Pansy. Harry and Ginny have divorced. Ginny hooked up with Cormac McClaggen and the two started a business in Knockturn Alley. Hermione and Luna traveled the world and found supposedly found the Crumple-horned Snorkack or maybe that was just Father Christmas that was insnared in that beartrap but it was also at around this time that Neville and Lily had got married.

The two had their honeymoon in New Zealand. Lily was sprawled over the bed once Neville had appeared out of the shower.

"I love you." She murmured.

"I love you, too." He said smiling as he kissed her cheek.

His arms caressed her body.

The two made love all night.


End file.
